tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395763173194477355.post7405386322583491559..comments2023-10-18T09:03:41.891-07:00Comments on Lonely Gender: It's been a while...LonelyGenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16169307440211346586noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395763173194477355.post-11368894036266162552010-08-08T03:58:07.760-07:002010-08-08T03:58:07.760-07:00Hey there!
Thanks so much for your comment it rea...Hey there!<br /><br />Thanks so much for your comment it really is so great to hear from you and for you to say those things I really appreciate it. I would really love to meet up and hang out some time I am crazy hectic at the moment and as soon as I get a bit of calm period I shall be seeing if your around :) I have really been missing the company of trans and trans friendly folk, I realize that it was having you guys to talk to and be around that gave me the courage to get as far as I have and having not been around for a while all those fears that constantly wisper at me and tell me I am crazy have been running around in my head and I've not had anyone to talk to and I miss that. Thanks again so much I really do appreciate it so much.<br /><br />xxLonelyGenderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16169307440211346586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395763173194477355.post-56544812261700626672010-08-03T18:05:07.978-07:002010-08-03T18:05:07.978-07:00Hey dude, If you want to talk in person, drop me ...Hey dude, If you want to talk in person, drop me a line.<br /><br />I put off my name change for a really long time for a bunch of reasons, some of which have to do with my passport. It turns out that doing the name change is actually really easy and low stress. If you're planning on renewing your passport, then you're supposed to do it in your new name. But you're not obligated to go change your passport the same day as you change your name. Nobody is going to catch you if you put it off.<br /><br />I was really reluctant to change my name for a bunch of reasons, including that it was MY NAME, if you know what I mean. I wasn't entirely pleased with it, but it was mine.<br /><br />It's also perfectly aceptable to use the disabled loo. There's a website that lists their locations, even: http://safe2pee.org/ I used gender neutral toilets exclusively for a couple of years at least. I would sometimes nip into the men's, also afraid of being thrown out. Despite having been challenged in the ladies on innumerable locations. I was only told to leave the men's once in my life. It was a train station in The Hague and I was drunk. I was not yet IDing as trans and I wandered into the men's room and then was completely confused as to why the stall doors were all locked. The guy who came in at the same time was looking at me nervously, but the station attendant, a woman, was the one who told me to go to the other side. Men don't seem to care as much. And why would they? Women's fears about men in their loos tend to be based around sexual assault, something that men don't tend to fear from women. When you use the men's, don't make eye contact with anybody. Just go in, do what you need to do, wash your hands and get out. I've never had a man challenge me. But, also, your nervousness makes sense. I sometimes still get nervous in mens' rooms, especially when queuing. I always looked for the disabled until I was really certain I was passing. <br /><br />The stuff you're talking about is not crazy! I think a lot of trans men do try to do all of this alone. I did. Back in the old days, if I ever asked for help or admitted to weakness, people seemed to interpret it as weakness or femininity. I needed to never ask for help, never cry, never let on that anything was wrong, never smile, try to talk in a monotone. It kind of sucked. It made me feel crazy, in fact! But then I learned that this is not how men actually act with each other.<br /><br />I was just thinking about your blog this morning. Glad to see you writing in it again.Charles CĂ©leste Hutchinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18123138871494922485noreply@blogger.com