Today

I feel a beautiful melancholy today, I feel a part of my old life soul back there tapping me on the shoulder and saying hello. It's wrapping itself around my inner discomfort, pressing it's warmth to me and squeezing till the vibrations of my anxiety are smoothed, leaving in the place of silent rattle a soft hum.

I'm not sure why today, maybe it was the revelation that is Dorian Wood, hearing his voice and words. Soaking in a room full to bursting with love and acceptance that made me feel for the first time that, that darkness I have worked so hard to contain and control is part of me and even though it is dark and frightening and sometimes completely bizarre and random it has a place and is part of the magic that is me. What an amazing find in the early hours of the morning, here I am twisted and dark, shadowed and otherworldly lost so long, now here just lying there as if you had never been packed down and forgotten ..