On reflection, I've come to realize that I was always a little jealous of my brother, he suffered for it being the youngest and me an angry elder child. I hadn't really any understanding of it then but when he was born my place as a girl in the family was more firmly set. I didn't know it but I felt it, he was the beautiful boy I should of been and I was no longer the surrogate son of my father. I could be a tomboy as my mother had been growing up but I would never be a boy.
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